Because I have attachment issues...

I hate my notes app.

Dear Reader,

There was a time I wrote about a phone I had been using for five years. Guess what? I finally changed it this year.

Photo by Omar Al-Ghosson on Unsplash

That’s a win for me, but there’s one thing: I used the notes app on my old phone for all my personal stuff.

It was my safe space—just me and my thoughts. Whenever the phone crashed, I’d lose a lot of what I had written, but somehow, I didn’t mind. I’d start over, and it felt surprisingly easy.

Fast forward to now—I got a new phone this year, mainly for work. My old phone had become unbearably slow, and I needed something faster.

This new phone? I’ve been using the notes app for work stuff, quick ideas, email drafts, and messages. But every time I try to write something personal, I blank out. I end up not writing anything at all.

It feels like I’m disconnected from this phone, everything seems new to me. I can’t trust it, and my mind keeps wandering back to my old phone. There should be a term for this.

Maybe it’s the same with people. I have friends I’ve known for over a decade, and we’re still cool. Eventhough most of the time it looks like I'm the one still holding on to it haha.

I wonder if I’m clinging to the idea of what used to be, rather than what actually is. Something like being selectively attached to the past.

This is just something I’ve started thinking about, and I felt like sharing. After all, this is substack 🌚

If you’ve read this far, tell me: Do you think I have attachment issues? Is that a bad thing?

No one asked for this, but I’m putting it out there for anyone who opens this mail. I’m still here—not sure where my head is, but hey, compliments of the season!