Please don't commit crimes

Dear Reader,

So… my mum called me yesterday morning. She prayed for me and reminded me not to tell anyone my age this year. Okay.

Photo by Helena Hertz on Unsplash

I turned 20x yesterday, but I feel like I reached that age a long time ago. If we were to measure age by mental strength, emotional strength, responsibilities, and crisis, I think I'm far past that number.

This year, my mental strength was tested more than ever. I had to put things into perspective countless times. I had to summon the courage and offer many apologies, even when I wasn’t sure what for, but I did it genuinely for the sake of peace. So yeah, forgive me if I brag a bit about how mentally strong I am.

I didn’t plan to write, but I read what I wrote last year, and it moved me. This time last year, in 2023, I was in Port Harcourt, responsible for some teenagers' education.

One of my students called me a few days ago, and I almost teared up. As proud as I am of what I did there, I was disappointed that there was no continuity. I could have stayed, but I had to be selfish.

Staying back didn’t align with the steps I want to take for my future. I had to choose between the emotional attachment that comes with teaching and pursuing something else. And all I have to say is, sometimes, you have to choose yourself, even if it feels selfish.

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**Life lately**

It’s just me trying to work with what I have in my life right now. I’m currently in the orientation phase of something I applied for. We were asked to look at our environment, identify a problem, and suggest a solution.

In the group, I suggested stress management from the perspective of youths who work multiple jobs or endure toxic environments just for sustainability. The idea was unanimously rejected. Most of my group members disagreed with me, saying, "It’s not the majority of youths who have jobs, and in fact, we are on this group because we are all jobless."

I didn’t try to argue or prove a point, I just refrained from saying anything further.

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**This Country**

The current state of the country is truly saddening, and I understand why everyone is frustrated, but I say to you, you’ll still get by. I won’t project what’s happening in my life onto yours, but I know you’ll definitely get by.

I have a friend who makes really nice shoes, but his family doesn’t believe he can survive on that alone, so he has to interview for ridiculous job offers.

What I’m saying is, we are all doing our best. I see you, and even if all you do is “think” about your life daily, I won’t judge you—as long as you don’t let yourself go hungry.

There’s so much pressure. But please, don’t steal. You can be broke, but please don’t kill or commit crimes. It won’t end well. The thing you’re desperately trying to escape by committing a crime will catch up with you, and it will eventually be your downfall. So don’t do it.

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**ME**

Every day, I keep trying so hard to prove myself when I know deep down that there’s nothing to prove. But I’m working on it. I’m working on myself, and I like to think I’m lucky to be where I am. I’m also almost fully at peace—it's coming, and I can feel it.

There’s nothing I would wish for you more than peace. I hope you find something that brings you that.

I know inner peace is the ultimate goal, but I promise you, you can find peace externally too.

At this point, I’m not writing to you so you can meditate and find something inside yourself. No.

I’m saying, look around and see where your peace lies. Or you could write something down, like: "Today, I was hungry."

I’ve been trying to put things down in that way, and I’ve written, "I’m stressed," twice. But it’s okay because, really, I’m fine, and life has been good.

Lastly, twenty x was full of things I can’t believe I did. But as you grow older, you learn more about yourself. If you can, try to say less and pray.

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**On another note**

This Nigerian government that is broke allegedly spent 701 million naira on Mrs. Remi Tinubu’s foreign trips in the space of three months. hmmm